Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Diary of an IVF Cycle - The Waiting Game

Today is the halfway mark till the pregnancy test. The nurse who discharged me after the transfer had written that my follow up blood work should be on the 21st, but that didn't make sense based on other things I'd read, so I double checked with my nurse and I have to wait till the 24th. I'm trying to figure out if I should have the nurse call me with the results on my cell phone and just leave the message there so I can check it after work. That would save any tears at work, which would probably come no matter what the outcome. But it also involves a level of discipline that I'm not sure I have. I'm not allowed to use a home test (the shots can give a false positive) and I had one around the house that I asked Matt's mom to hide while she was here last week. I realized that I couldn't be trusted with it once I made up a massive rationalization about how I would only trust the test if it was negative, and it would only be to help me slowly deal with the idea that it didn't work instead of it all coming at once. I couldn't even bring myself to try that one on Matt.

In the end I think I'm going to have to leave my phone at home that day. I don't know how to check my messages away from my phone, so that might be the only way. We're going to have a new interim boss at work who will be on his third day in the office next Friday, so I'm thinking tears and obsessive checking of personal phone messages will be looked down on. Also, I'm sure it will be written all over my face and I know my boss will ask, and while I really like my boss, I don't want him to be the first person I talk to about it.

Now that I'm looking at the rationalization, it really makes sense to me. Anyone else?? Dammit, how am I going to make it another 9 days? Where's Michael J. Fox and his time machine when I need it?


Cat said...

So next Friday you get results, or they take the blood? Or both? Can you wait for the results?

I Hate Swiss Chard said...

I get the results the same day. They take the blood in the morning and call in the afternoon.

Cat said...

Can you ask them to call first thing saturday when you guys are home together (assuming matt hasn't run off with that stripper without leaving a note as to his whereabouts)?? Extra wait but less stress on Friday maybe?

I Hate Swiss Chard said...

Unfortunately Matt doesn't get home till late Sunday night, so we'd be waiting till Monday morning, at which point I will have lost my mind.

He's back from Las Vegas, but is off to CA for work, and then is going to camp with my Dad. There will be much drinking and peeing in the woods.

I think I've decided on leaving my phone at home. That way I can find out at home, and then Matt will call and I can tell him. We found out that we got the house while we weren't together and I found out over the phone, so I think it might bring us a little luck.