Sunday, June 21, 2009

Diary of an IVF Cycle - Side Effects

After a rough week at work, this morning I had my first over-reaction that I'm going to blame on the meds.

Scene: Sunday morning, 9am
Alicia wakes up and goes downstairs to see what Matt is up to. Teddy tries to stick her nose in inappropriate places. Matt is nowhere to be found, but his wallet, keys, and phone are still in the living room, so he's not off getting breakfast. Alicia theorizes that Matt is off on a run.

Still no sign of Matt, so Alicia eats some breakfast so she can take her pills.

Alicia checks the front yard by looking out the window, no sign of Matt mowing the lawn. Alicia starts to get concerned.

Alicia rehearses the conversation with Matt about how he needs to leave her a note telling her where he goes. Teddy tries to stick her nose in inappropriate places.

Matt doesn't run this long. Alicia starts considering driving around the neighborhood making sure he didn't throw out his back while running and is lying on the sidewalk somewhere. Decides he should have left at note and doesn't open the door.

Alicia is now good and mad and muttering under her breath. She needs to get her shot, but since she doesn't know where Matt is, she decides to do it herself. She washes her hands, gets everything together, and makes quick work of the shot. Realizes afterwards that maybe she should have been laying down, or at least sitting, in case she got dizzy, but she was too mad.

After pacing up and down the stairs a couple of times, Alicia decides that she going to start weeding the backyard, but opens the front door to make sure that Matt's not lying on the sidewalk in front of the house in pain. Is considering kicking him while he's lying down. Looks out the front door and notices that the front steps are a different color and there are wet paint cones in front of the stairs. Alicia goes to the back yard to find Matt coming in after painting the front steps. His back is sore and he's covered in paint. Alicia decides not to kick him. He tries to defend himself from not writing a note telling his loving, caring wife where he is. He is wrong.
(Editorial note: Matt insists he was only only in the front yard and thus was not required to leave a note.) He is very proud that Alicia handled the shot herself. She makes him make his own breakfast.

Fade to US Open coverage...


Anonymous said...

I'm not laughing at this. Not at all.


Cat said...

a) you get up at 9am???
b) I'm totally seeing your point of the argument but I'm feeling a teensy bit sorry for Matt.....painting AND in trouble??
c) yay for doing your own shot!

I Hate Swiss Chard said...

Matt appreciates the sympathy. And it's only payback for me always being in trouble.

And do you think 9 am is early or late?

Cat said...

This is a joke question right??
Lord help you when these shots do what they're meant to do! You won't know what's hit you!!

I Hate Swiss Chard said...

I'm trying to stock pile sleep right now.

Actually, the drugs made me a zombie this weekend and I spent about 90% of the weekend in bed.

Cat said...

Oh, that's different then.

Drugs - I miss you. A lot. Stock pile them too, while you're at it! And eat LOTS of soft cheese and pate and peanut butter.