Monday, March 16, 2009

The Inside of My Head

As I sit here I have the following items bouncing around inside my head.

-I leave for Las Vegas in three days and I AM NOT READY!!!
-I am eleven days away from coming home from Las Vegas.
-Less than a month from now my kitchen will be a disaster area and I will have found a place to store everything from the coffee cups to the big bottle of tequila while they do it. I think the tequila will be stored in my tummy.
-Why is the registration company being nitwits and raising my blood pressure 1000%?
-Where is the line between smacking some sense into someone and assault?
-Where can I get horse tranquilizers? And maybe a midget...
-Quartz is sparkly.
-Do not tell me that avoiding chocolate will stop the pain I'm in, if you haven't established that I've eaten any chocolate. Because unless they're slipping mega doses of estrogen into the chocolate chips in granola bars that's not the answer.
-I used to like Australians. Now, not so much. Except for those living in Connecticut.
-I forgot to pack Liberace's wallet.
-Is Super Saver Shipping from Amazon really overnighting me a package that weighs 28 pounds?
-I cannot deal with anyone else named Bill, Richard, or Jim.
-Germans are also making my sh!t list.
-No, I do not own gold body paint.
-Deadlines are not for my amusement. They actually mean something.
-I need to know where the person in my office got the 90210 theme song ring tone.

Aren't you glad you don't live with me?

2 comments:

Cat said...

I know I am glad - otherwise I would no longer be exempt from your dislike of Australians...What on earth did a bad australian do to you?

I Hate Swiss Chard said...

Lost of last minute requests that were urgent, but should have been taken care of months ago. Just general annoyingness.